Have you ever asked yourself…is God speaking to me? Is he revealing something to me? Am I hearing Him? Have I ever heard Him? Recently, I thought these things, felt these things, wondered and WOW…just listen to what I have to tell you.
Several weeks ago I thought I would start an individual Bible study on Exodus. I thought it would be a good place to invest some time. I will be teaching the children in church school about Exodus next month. So it was part personal “quiet time” and part preparation.
I cracked open the “good book” to read this particular section of the Old Testament right before my father passed away. My Dad had been in a coma for four months and we were not seeing improvement. I was caught in this time warp of praying fervently for healing, wholeness and peace and waiting knowing that ultimately my father’s prognosis was not good. My Dad was here but I missed him so deeply. I vacillated between hope and despair, anger and peace, disbelief and certainty. I dug into God’s Word, prayed, and waited.
And waited…
My father passed on September 17th. The waiting was over but the grief continues.
The following is a snip-it of an e-mail I sent to my five “Good Morning Girls”. This is a group of women I communicate with five days a week as an online accountability group.
“I have a chance to spend some time in God's Word! (Amen!). I started by reading 1 James 1:2-4, Romans 2:7, 8:24,25, 2 Corinthians 6:3-7, AND my Exodus study of chapters 7,8,9 & 10…So, in my study of Exodus I am reading about the Israelites and their captivity in Egypt, Moses and Aaron and tonight I read about the plagues (ewww)! The Israelites were facing very depressing and challenging times. Most of their circumstances were completely out of their control and they were forced to remember God's promises. Many of them still questioned and doubted God and his plans and purposes for their people. (very fitting reading for my current circumstances!) In the bible notes from both Exodus and James I gathered the following, ‘When God is at work, suffering, setbacks, hardships may still occur (Exodus- notes). We are encouraged to be happy when difficult times come our way. The point is not to pretend to be happy when we face pain, but to have a positive outlook. James tell us to turn our hardships into times of learning (James-notes).’ All I can say is ‘WOW...thanks for speaking to me tonight GOD!’”
Just a day after I sent this e-mail to my friends, my dear friend (and one of my pastors) gave me the book the Land Between. It almost knocked me over when I start reading! The author, Jeff Manion, uses the biblical story of the Israelites as a metaphor for being in an undesired transitional space. This land between is where “everything normal is interrupted.” Manion says, “…the land between is fertile ground for spiritual transformation and for God’s grace to be revealed in magnificent ways.”
Holy Moses…I have been wandering “the land between” for over 8 months! Between my husband’s cancer diagnosis & treatment and my father illness I’ve pretty much taken up residence in a metaphorical desert!
So, this brings me to this morning. When I’m sitting in the pew… God’s messages are ringing loud and clear. The pastor preaches on a passage from 1 Kings. It is the story of Elijah, how he collapses under a broom tree and even says…”I have had enough Lord!” But God provides for him! God still has a plan for Elijah! I am blown away by the message and how it continues to be God’s words for me…right now…at this point in my life.
So through my reading of Exodus, The Land Between, and hearing my pastor sermon, I take away the following message; Despite the difficult circumstances, the grief, and loneliness, God is at work! God is revealing something to me! This is the time for transformation. Now is my time to listen and hear what God is teaching….to put aside resentfulness, bitterness and fear and to move forward holding on to God’s promises.
See what I’m saying!!! (God- I’m hearing you! Loud and Clear!)
